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WHEN CUPID’S ARROW STRIKES IN THE WORKPLACE…

1/1/1900

While many have struggled to balance their personal life and career, an increasing percentage of the nation's workforce continues their efforts to combine the two.

Recent studies indicate that more than one-third of all relationships are started in the workplace, with as much as 80 percent of the workforce having been involved in an inter-office romance at least once.

The upside and downside of these “romantic corporate mergers” are among the topics explored by author Paul A. Falzone in his book, “A Single's Guide To Finding The Right One.”

In the book, Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together, the world's largest personal introduction service, draws upon his experiences to offer insight into both the cause and consequence of such relationships.

“It shouldn't come as a surprise that more and more people view dating a co-worker as a safe alternative to bars, health clubs and other such venues for singles to mingle,” Falzone explains. “With a fellow employee there is already an established relationship that allows the opportunity to know each other and find attraction and compatibility.”

LOVE AMONG THE CUBICLES

With more women entering the workforce each decade, the percentage split between men and women has evened, creating the opportunity for increased male-female socializing. Rising divorce rates and the decision by many to delay marriage until later in life means there are more singles in the workplace. Longer workdays are also a major factor in seeking romance among the cubicles. According to the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average workweek now exceeds 50 hours a week and, in many fields, has reached 60 hours a week. For many singles, there isn't much time left in their week to look for love anywhere else.

For some, the challenges of a workplace romance are worth the risk. According to studies and surveys, as many as 50 percent of these “punch the clock” relationships result in marriage.

But what happens to that other 50 percent?

“In an informal survey of our membership, close to 75 percent have been involved in a failed workplace romance and the negative repercussions were a factor in choosing us to help with their search for a partner,” Falzone said. “Some of the stories we have heard—stalking, retribution, lawsuits and violence—are truly disturbing.”

Not only can a failed romance be traumatic for former couples forced to continue working in close proximity, but, from a business perspective, even a successful relationship can lead to counter-productivity, gossip and claims of preferential treatment. No matter how happy a couple may be, there will inevitably be both small disagreements and heated fights that can create an office-wide distraction. Couples need to also contend with the likely managerial view of employee romances as both unprofessional and a legal liability.

RUNAROUND…SUE

A recent survey by the Society of Human Resources Managers (SHRM), in conjunction with CareerJournal.com, on the topic of employee dating found that 24 percent of respondents reported having to deal with sexual harassment complaints stemming from a failed office relationship. The poll further revealed that 76 percent of executives (and an even higher 81 percent of Human Resource professionals) consider inter-office romances “dangerous” with 38 percent concurring they will likely “end in disaster.” Fifty-eight percent of executives said workplace romances should be banned because of retaliation and an equal number viewed such liaisons as “unprofessional.”

From a liability perspective, in cases where one employee in a relationship may have supervisory capacity over another, sexual harassment lawsuits loom large. With the average judgment in such lawsuits well over $250,00 (not including legal expenses), companies can no longer afford to look the other way when Cupid's arrow strikes.

Yet, despite these concerns, the 2002 SHRM study also revealed that 75 percent of Human Resource managers and 59 percent of executives who responded said that their company has no written or verbal policy on the matter.

“Many companies have their hands tied when it comes to setting such employee guidelines because even a carefully-worded policy can run afoul of privacy rights and labor law,” Falzone said. “While businesses wrangle with the issue, a better solution, perhaps, is for individuals to take both personal responsibility for their actions and control of their lives. The best advice is, first and foremost, to avoid office romances even though, admittedly, with affairs of the heart such counsel might not sit well. Singles in any workplace or field, no matter how high the stress or heavy the workload, also need to make sure that their job is not all-consuming and, with whatever free time they have, make sure they take time to participate in social activities—anything from a book club or church group to a continuing education class—to help break the ice with potential suitors.”

Falzone's book, “Finding The Right One,” a $14.95 value, is available free of charge for a limited time from any The Right One or Together location in the United States. To find the location nearest you, or to order the book by phone (for a $3 shipping charge), please call (800) 818-DATE.